Do you really want to know if you are addicted to sex? Because the truth is, once you know, then that nagging feeling to do something about it will haunt you until life forces you to take control of your sexual intake. FREEZE…Here is where you should stop reading, close your eyes, breath and decide if you are not quite prepared for the veracity of your possibly crippling condition. OK, last chance. How do you know if you are addicted to sex? You know you are addicted to sex when you demonstrate the characteristics of an addict. That wasn’t so hard, now was it? Not yet you say, so let’s explore the characteristics of an addict because I see your leg twitching in anticipation of your impending diagnosis.
Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines an addict as one who, “devotes or surrenders (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively”. I’m getting a little scared because I don’t think any of us knows of anyone who does not exhibit these traits on some level about something.
You may think that you are addicted to sex because you love it and or have lots of it with lots of people, which may coincide with addiction but for now let’s just label you nasty, but if you are able to handle the business of life, I would say that you are not an addict. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, “nearly 12 million people in America suffer from Sexual Addiction”.
They go on to explain that, “sexual addiction is a serious problem in which one engages in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior despite increasing negative consequences to one’s self or others”. That means that sexual addiction is like any other addiction; it consumes you until it is ingrained in your core and physiologically takes over your life and your thoughts.
NOT QUITE ADDICTED
Some of us need to thank our lucky stars because several of the severe traits associated with sexual addiction, do not belong to us. That was a close one for some of you heathens. For instance, you and your mate want to have stimulating sex on top of the washing machine and you go to turn it on and it starts…you are not addicted to sex; why? Because like real grown people, you were able to pay the electric bill and since I’m sure the washing machine is an indoor appliance, you have managed to keep a roof over your head as well. Go you!!!
Your partner invites you to his office for a “nooner” on your day off…clearly you are not addicted to sex, due in part to the fact that the both of you have still have jobs.
What about waking up and wanting your partner before you have even opened your eyes, or anticipating your mate’s arrival as you sit on the sofa naked or masturbating to free porn on your brand new tablet before turning in for the night, (that last one belongs to me) may make you weird or a little perverted but not a sex addict.
Like I have already stated, you have a job, a roof over your head and the utility company hasn’t shown up to collect an unpaid debt, so clearly you are not a sex addict.
Sexual freedom and the joy associated with the sexual expression of that freedom are not to be taken lightly. We can all name the pros linked with sexual freedom, however, there are cons that exist including other people’s feelings, your own self worth, unwanted babies and the incredible expense of raising children in one parent homes and let’s not forget a string of sexually transmitted diseases that may or may not be curable.
The key to sexual freedom is in the knowing that there is no such thing as complete freedom because as with all freedoms we are entrusted with a responsibility that will allow that freedom to thrive and exist and in this case that would include things like condoms, morals, standards and really getting to know who it is that you are and what it is that you really want and desire.
So the next time you are feeling horny and fearful that you may be addicted to sex, you might want to slow down on some of your sexual practices, but remember; you are not a sex addict. YIPPEE!!! In the meantime go purchase a box of condoms in the name of inhibited sexual freedom.